Thursday, July 26, 2012

Period Envy--it's a real thing!! (According to me...)

So, my husband has been SUPER moody lately. Like, "take a pill" moody. So, I've decided to do some research about his chicky moodiness, and I've come to find out that males can suffer from a condition similar to PMS, it's called IMS or Irritable Male Syndrome. (Yes, men have actually come up with something to try to trump our PMS-ing.) It is a "medical condition" in which males experience a drop of testosterone. This drop in the male hormone can cause mood swings, anger, anxiety, and yes, even stomach cramps. But, to make this anomaly even more convenient for guys, they can experience this condition at any point in the month, even every day!

I'm not even joking.

What's next? Are men going to start bleeding from some orphis once a month, like an ear or their belly button? You've heard the theory of women having "Penis Envy" right? Well, apparently now men have "period envy." Mmmhmm, that's right ladies, men are indubitably envious of those 5-7 days a month in which we experience mood swings, nausea, stomach pains beyond all belief, out of control chocolate cravings, and the superfluous need to watch sappy chick flicks and cry about the nonsensical happy endings. Well, if they want to "outshine" us in this, than they need to experience every aspect of it.

So, I've decided to create something, I don't know what it's going to be yet, but something. This something will help men experience the sprinkles and unicorns that we experience once a month. They can have  all the fun, including: the bloating, breast sensitivity, stomach gymnastics, junk food binging, sporadic crying (you know, when you forgot to pull the laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer, so you burst into tears,) the "I love you, I need a hug, now I hate you and I'm yelling at you, why are you walking away from me, I just wanted a hug," mere exhaustion at the thought of even moving, and the "fun-house mirror effect" when all of the mirrors in your house are redesigned to make us look fat and ugly. I haven't decided whether I would like this something to take these symptoms from us and give them to the men, or if we would just like them to experience them as well as us??

So, I'm here to ask for your opinion, knowing that most of us women in a serious relationship, or marriage have experienced this "IMS" in our boyfriends/husbands. Do you think this is all a ploy for men to have an excuse to be moody and grumpy just to show us up for our once-a-month-mood-a-thon? Or do you actually believe that this is a medical condition?

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