Thursday, July 26, 2012

Period Envy--it's a real thing!! (According to me...)

So, my husband has been SUPER moody lately. Like, "take a pill" moody. So, I've decided to do some research about his chicky moodiness, and I've come to find out that males can suffer from a condition similar to PMS, it's called IMS or Irritable Male Syndrome. (Yes, men have actually come up with something to try to trump our PMS-ing.) It is a "medical condition" in which males experience a drop of testosterone. This drop in the male hormone can cause mood swings, anger, anxiety, and yes, even stomach cramps. But, to make this anomaly even more convenient for guys, they can experience this condition at any point in the month, even every day!

I'm not even joking.

What's next? Are men going to start bleeding from some orphis once a month, like an ear or their belly button? You've heard the theory of women having "Penis Envy" right? Well, apparently now men have "period envy." Mmmhmm, that's right ladies, men are indubitably envious of those 5-7 days a month in which we experience mood swings, nausea, stomach pains beyond all belief, out of control chocolate cravings, and the superfluous need to watch sappy chick flicks and cry about the nonsensical happy endings. Well, if they want to "outshine" us in this, than they need to experience every aspect of it.

So, I've decided to create something, I don't know what it's going to be yet, but something. This something will help men experience the sprinkles and unicorns that we experience once a month. They can have  all the fun, including: the bloating, breast sensitivity, stomach gymnastics, junk food binging, sporadic crying (you know, when you forgot to pull the laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer, so you burst into tears,) the "I love you, I need a hug, now I hate you and I'm yelling at you, why are you walking away from me, I just wanted a hug," mere exhaustion at the thought of even moving, and the "fun-house mirror effect" when all of the mirrors in your house are redesigned to make us look fat and ugly. I haven't decided whether I would like this something to take these symptoms from us and give them to the men, or if we would just like them to experience them as well as us??

So, I'm here to ask for your opinion, knowing that most of us women in a serious relationship, or marriage have experienced this "IMS" in our boyfriends/husbands. Do you think this is all a ploy for men to have an excuse to be moody and grumpy just to show us up for our once-a-month-mood-a-thon? Or do you actually believe that this is a medical condition?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rainy, Dreary Day = Baking Day!

It's a rainy, dreary day today in Ohio. And, something about today is just making me upset. So, what is a girl to do on a rainy, upset kind of day? Why, bake of course! And listen to some good ol' tunes in the process (Awolnation & Yellowcard, YUP!)

A few months back, I found a post on Pinterest, my secret addiction, for Pillsbury's Rainbow Cookies, and they just screamed, make me! So, I attempted it, but of course it was around 90 degrees that day, and they turned out absolutely horrible. I'm ashamed to call those cookies mine. Buuuuttt, I've come to learn from my mistakes, and sometimes embrace them. So now I make these:

I like to call them Tie Dye Cookies. They are simply roll-out sugar cookies that you color with the food coloring of choice and roll together just enough to marble. I like using the pink and purple, just because I'm a girly-girl. But I've used purple and turquoise and they've turned out pretty cool, too. Now, onto my Mom's Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Seriously, who doesn't love cookie dough??

These have been the faves of many of my friends since high school. And, of course, now my husband insists that I make them any chance I get. They are chewy, gooey deliciousness! Try them, believe me, they won't disappoint. I almost always add mini M&M's, just because I like them that way, but the recipe just calls for chocolate chips. The trick is adding the flour last, and when you take them out, be sure to drop them onto your pot-holder from about 3 inches up, makes them fall!

I use M&M's just for the color!

Mom's Famous Chocolate Chips Cookies

1/2 Stick Crisco (I prefer Butter flavored)
1 Stick butter, softened
1 C White Sugar
1 C Packed Brown Sugar
2 Eggs
1 Tsp Baking Soda
3/4 Tsp Salt
1 1/2 Tbsp Flavor Extract (I use 1 Tbsp vanilla extract, 1/2 Tbsp butter extract)
2 1/4 C Flour
2 C Chocolate Chips (I use 1 c chocolate chips, 1 c mini M&M's)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Beat butter and Crisco until blended. Add Sugars, eggs, baking soda, salt, and extracts, beat until fluffy.
Slowly add flour, mix by hand just until blended.
Add chocolate chips, mix.
Drop onto cookie sheets, bake 9-11 minutes, depending on how chewy or crunchy you want them. When you remove from the over, drop from a few inches above pot holder so cookies fall.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Fur was Flying

Today was haircuttin' day for the dogs. The boys and I took a drive to my mom's house so her dogs could join in on the fun. After the first unsuccessful attempt at shaving her pup, including excessive fidgeting, nosiness, and nipping, mom decided that she knew just what would solve all of our problems. She ran into the house to retrieve the solution to our dilemma and came back heavily armed with 4 plastic spoons completely engrossed by peanut butter. Turns out peanut butter is "dog crack" and the next time you need to distract your fuzzy friend for nail clipping, hair cutting, or just to keep them occupied for a period of time, good ol' pb could just be your answer. So anyway...we get her pup, Judy, distracted long enough to finish the fur-cut. Then we moved on to my two boys, Comet and Koda:

"Aww, look how cute they are."They have you all fooled.

Now the thing about my dogs is that when you are doing something like cutting their fur, or giving them a bath, or clipping their nails, they are super well behaved. Any other time, they bare a close resemblance to the spawn of satan. Let me tell you, the fluff from toys is flying in our house at any given time on any given day. After finishing my boys, we decided to move on to mom's baby-girl Sophie:


Now, Sophie is the neediest, nosiest, prissiest dog I've ever seen. She has to be by mom's side 24 hours a day, requires that you pick her up and put her on the bed when it's bed time, (just to jump back down approximately 12 minutes later,) and gets fed anything that mom is eating (though mom will never admit that.) She also hates to be touched near her face or her rear. She's also moody, and today was not a good mood day. I'm pretty sure that cutting Sophie's fur took about as long as cutting all the other dogs combined. And it was still horribly uneven. Even with peanut butter... Cutting mom's big dog Marley, a shepard mix, was the last, and the easiest. After finishing all of the fun, this is what was left:
 Don't mind mom's foot, she felt it was needed for accurate sizing.

You've seen that "doggy dentures" commercial right. Well, I've come up with a new product. Yup, about doggy toupees... Anyone in need??